Your child is online. You want them there — it's where their friends are, where they learn, where they play. But you also want them safe, and you want to know what they're doing. The Children's Commissioner's latest guide, built with input from children and young people themselves, shows you how to have those conversations without turning into the parent they stop talking to.
The guide isn't about banning phones or spying. It's about building habits and trust so that online safety becomes something you do together, not something you do to them.
Start with the conversation, not the rule
Many parents begin with a rule: "No phones at dinner." "You're grounded from TikTok." "I'm installing monitoring software." The Children's Commissioner's research — which included direct feedback from children — shows that works for about two weeks.
Instead, start with curiosity. Ask your child:
- What apps do you use most?
- Who are you talking to online?
- What would make you uncomfortable telling me about?
- If something weird happened, would you tell me?
You're not interrogating them. You're showing them that online life is part of normal conversation, not a secret you'll punish them for revealing.
> The children who feel safest online are the ones whose parents ask questions, listen without immediately panicking, and promise to help rather than punish.
Know what to do if they see something harmful
Your child will see something they shouldn't — an aggressive comment, sexual content, hate speech, or self-harm material. Not maybe. Will. The question is whether they'll tell you.
They're more likely to tell you if you've already said: "If something makes you feel weird or scared, show me. I won't take your phone away. I will help."
When they do tell you:
- Don't panic. You seeing it doesn't mean they're in danger. It means they trusted you.
- Listen first. Let them explain what they saw and why it bothered them.
- Don't shame the platform. "TikTok is evil" teaches them you don't understand their world. "That content shouldn't have got past TikTok's filters. Let's report it" teaches them you're on their side.